Wakening
by Frost Deejn
Summary: Episode 7.14: "Smoke Gets in Your CSIs." A look into Calleigh and Eric's thoughts during the hospital scene, and all that stuff he said to her about them.
1. Part I

Disclaimer: This unauthorized work of fanfiction is not meant to replace traditional _CSI: Miami _watching.

Spoiler: 7.14: "Smoke Gets in Your CSIs."

**Wakening**

The first thing Calleigh became aware of was something unpleasant stuck in her throat. She felt like she was choking, but couldn't gag. Then the sounds: the sounds of machinery, beeping, a regular whoosh of air. The smell: disinfectant, sweat. Her eyes fluttered open. Hospital room.

She tried to swallow, tried to remember how she'd gotten here. The fire. Coughing. Coughing while interviewing a suspect. She couldn't breath. She'd said that to Eric.

Eric...

She remembered hearing his soothing voice, floating hazily through her darkness. _"You're going to get through this. 'Kay? I know you will. You have to." _There was more. _"I can't imagine going to work without you." _There was a jocularity in his voice that had not been able to cover his worry. Then, more quietly, so quietly she wasn't sure if she heard it or imagined it, _"I can't imagine living my life without you." _

She'd wished Eric would say something like that to her for years. But she knew him better than that: he wasn't a one-woman man, and even if he thought he was in love with her now, he would just break her heart if she let him. Except...lately she was beginning to wonder if that was still true.

No. It must have been a dream. Eric wasn't even here. No one was.

She realized there was something on her wrist. Was she strapped down? She looked.

A watch. Eric's watch. Her thumb caressed its face. It wasn't a dream, then: he had been there. He had said those things.

He did love her.

She awoke again at the sound of the curtain being pulled back. She opened her eyes enough to see it was Eric. She smiled. "Hey."

Her voice was weak, but stronger than Eric had been expecting. "Hey." He grinned brightly and moved to her side, taking her hand. "Yeah, I...um...I put my watch on you so you would know I was here, in case you woke up while I was out on the investigation."

She kept smiling, gazing at him. Gazing. "I knew you were here."

"How did you know I was here? You could..." For the first time, the possibility occurred to him that she'd been aware earlier. "Could you hear me? You heard what I said?"

"Yeah." Her eyes drifted closed.

Eric's smile had fallen. He swallowed nervously, awaiting her verdict.

Her eyes opened. "It was like a dream."

Did she, he wondered, mean she thought she'd been dreaming when she heard it, or that hearing him say those words to her was like a dream come true? He wished it was the latter. Either way, there was one answer he could give. "It was real." He'd really said it. He really meant it.

She was quiet for a moment, still watching him, her luminous eyes full of fondness. "Will you stay with me?"

Did she mean just for today? Or did he dare hope she was asking...if she gave him a chance, would he stay with her forever, never leave her? Of course he would never leave her. But that wasn't what she was asking. He pushed the hope away.

"No." He quickly laughed to show her he was joking. She rewarded him with a single chuckle. "As long as you want me to," he said, sitting down in the chair beside her bed without letting go of her hand. A moment later a doubt marred his happiness: what if she just asked him to stay because she knew how worried he was about her, and how much it meant to him to be with her? He added quietly and uncertainly, "Only if you want me to."

She looked up, then returned her eyes to his face, and he knew that she did want him to stay. For her.

And he couldn't remember ever being happier than he was at that moment.


	2. Part II

Author's note: This was going to be a one-shot, but then after what Calleigh and Eric said in "Sink or Swim," I just had to add the conversation they alluded to.

**Wakening  
**

Minutes passed in silence. Eric held Calleigh's hand in his, massaging it gently. Her eyes had closed, and he thought she was asleep. He was thinking through a hundred permutations of what he was going to say to her, because he was determined to tell her exactly how he felt about her, because he'd almost lost her without ever having said it, because he'd held her in his arms and felt her fighting to draw breath, because she'd heard him say he couldn't imagine living his life without her, and she'd asked him to stay.

But it wouldn't be easy. He wasn't even sure what he was afraid of, but remembered too acutely the pain of hearing her say she was so confused, and watching her walk away. He couldn't just tell her that he loved her: not because it wasn't true, but because it was too true, too much. And at the same time, too little. He'd said those words to dozens of women before, not always sincerely. Love could mean a lot of things. It was so vague, so common. Merely telling her he loved her wouldn't come close to expressing how much she meant to him.

Calleigh coughed. Her wince of pain made Eric ache in sympathy.

"Are you okay?" he asked, then realized how stupid the question was: obviously not. "Do you want me to get a doctor?"

"No. I'm okay." She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

A long moment later, Eric said, "I was so scared I was going to lose you."

"I know. I felt the same way when you were shot."

"Not exactly the same way." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, imagining leaping over a cliff as he forced himself to finally admit the truth. "Calleigh, I don't know what exactly you read in Dr. Marsh's file on me, but I talked to her about you a lot."

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. What he'd said when he thought she couldn't hear him had been enough to convince her the spark between them was more than just a passing infatuation on his part, but she wanted to hear it again, now that she was fully conscious. She wanted to always hear it.

"I have these feelings for you. For a long time." He paused between each sentence, evaluating every word before releasing it. "When you chose Jake, I kept waiting for them to go away, but they didn't. They're not going to." He looked down at his hands, still wrapped around hers. But loosely now, as though to allow her to escape if she disapproved of his sentiments. "I'm happy just being with you, just working with you, if that's all you want. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. But..." He paused, bit his lip, then looked into her eyes. "I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. You deserve to know that."

"Eric..." she whispered, "I care for you. I always have."

"But we work together," he said with a note of resignation, expecting those to be her next words.

"If you're sure about this, if you're sure that's the way you really feel, then it's a risk I'm willing to take."

His heart was pounding at her words, and almost a quarter of a minute passed before he trusted himself to speak again. "I've never been more sure about anything. But what matters is what _you _want."

She smiled softly. "You don't have to worry about that." Her eyes closed.

Eric decided not to ask what she meant. She needed to rest.

Of course, he couldn't be sure she'd remember this conversation later, or feel the same way when the medication and the shock of the near-death experience wore off. He had to prepare himself for that possibility. But right now he just wanted to be there for her. He lifted her hand and lightly pressed his lips to it, wondering if she was still awake enough to feel it, if she'd mind. But what mattered most to him was that she was alive.


End file.
